The first good girl lie is that if we are selfless, we are "good." When we fall into this trap, we put the needs of other's ahead of our own . We often don't see how this creates toxic patterns of self-abandonment and self-betrayal. It's a vicious cycle. The more we betray ourselves, the more we disappear and shrink. The truth is, we need a healthy self-centeredness to do what is right, best and true for ourselves.